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Do We Take or Leave Criticism?

Question: "If a man offered a gift to another but the gift was declined, to whom would the gift belong?"

Answer: "To the one who offered it.”

Criticism is essentially feedback, in which there is giving and receiving. We will discuss accepting criticism and how it can work toward our success. We will also explore rejecting some criticism, depending on the reason it was given.

To accept criticism we must understand the motivation behind it.  Understanding helps you decide how valid the criticism is, and whether to accept it or not.  Below you will find the most common reasons for critiques, harsh or gentle.

1. Jealous? Some will criticize to attack your self-esteem. If the criticism is unusually harsh or some of the points seem to be nitpicky or simply not true, then you can usually spot the critic as a jealous person. Do they have something to gain by your failure? Are they in competition with you, on some level?
2. Angry?  Frustration and anger can sometimes drive a person to misdirect these feelings and target you, simply because you in the line of fire. This will take the form of unusually harsh criticism, or blame, or accusations. Sometimes, it will reach the point of comical, especially to those who know you. It is easily recognizable by its language and format.
3. Competition? Sometimes other people have their own interests at heart. Perhaps you are attempting the same thing they are, and they regard you as competition. Or perhaps your particular endeavour is not their particular preference. Their criticism is still perfectly sound, and can have its points of interest. IE: a student who hires you to make up a resume for them; in this case the student has the right to criticize your work because their whole future career could hinge on how you format it.  
4. Concerned? This is possibly the best form of criticism you could get. There is a mutual exchange of interests involved here. It could be that they love your work and want to keep the working relationship going with benefits from both sides. Perhaps this student will want to use your services again in the future, and they will also refer others to you. It is in your best interest to listen to the critiques of clients and co-workers. 
5. Love? This is the most difficult type of critiques to corner down. Sometimes, they think they are helping you by being overly harsh, and some will be reluctant to be totally honest, be too gentle, trying to avoid hurting feelings. They really do have your best interests at heart, but perhaps are at a loss as to how much you will accept without hurting the relationship. They do not want to lose your respect or love. If you can get an honest critique from them, count yourself extremely lucky!

So we accept it or not. You must base your decision on the motivation of the critic.  Based on that, does it has merit? Accepting criticism means using it to better your work or performance.  Rejecting it is not letting the criticism affect your work, performance, or your attitude.

How do you respond to the criticism? This is where it gets tricky by reacting to the criticism negatively. A good response is one with careful consideration. As mentioned above you consider the motivation of the critic and decided to accept or reject it.  No matter what, make sure your own response is positive.

How to make criticism easier to take:

Successful people do not fear critics. Surprise them by thanking them for their feedback. Share with them how you plan on using their comments. If they are unclear and rude enough to say things such as, "You suck!" or "Your work sucks”, don't ignore it.  Ask them to clarify what about your work they dislike. Ignore the first personal comment. It is an attack on you, and while it may be cutting, let it pass. Move on to someone who can be more supportive but honest.

Criticism is essential to success.  Success is based on providing something of value for others; the opinions of your readers are important, for it is geared for them. Change your actions or style based on good feedback.  It is what helps us to achieve success.

Lead BookAdz Interviewer, S.L. Bartlett, has written several editorials and freelance items for her local and county newspaper, as well as satirical essays. Bartlett is also a book reviewer for BookAdz and a staff writer for Silver Moon Magazine.

BookAdz.com ~ promoting Canadian and American writers.