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KUNATI BOOK PUBLISHERS
Infinity Publishing
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It's the Only Dance I Know (Excerpt) |
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Asperger’s and Me I was born and adopted into a caring family. They
did the best they could, but as far back as I could remember, I knew something
wasn’t right. I didn’t fit in. I didn’t belong. I didn’t know the rules. I got along better with adults than I did with
children. I was a stranger in a strange land. I tried to figure out the rules, through trial and
error. Lots of error. Everyone else seemed to understand the rules of the game, how to
fit it, how to be part of a group. But not me. I had to guess and most of the time I
was wrong. So I ended up alone. …We always had classical music in the house, in
the car, wherever. I’m surprised my mom didn’t put a cassette player in the
bathroom. I could probably have burped the first bar of Beethoven’s 5th Symphony. I
like classical music still, but I like lots of other kinds as well. …We were trucked all over the city for
orchestras. My mom worked all over the city and burned the candle at both ends. Still
does, even though she’s retired. To my mom’s surprise, and mine, I became a pretty
good bass player. Granted my sister is the better player by a long shot, but she had
the discipline to do everything correctly, the way my mom taught it. She went off to
Interlochen and New York to study and now plays professionally. For money. Me, I just
play for fun and the very occasional paying gig. …I’ve managed to get through college, get a
university degree. I’ve survived. In my own way, I am a success. Granted I’m not
rich or powerful or thin. But I’m not in jail, dead, the father of twins or lying in
the gutter. I have learned to partially overcome my condition and carve a life out for
myself. I’ve walked in darkness, pain, sorrow, anguish, confusion, alienation,
anger, and fear for many years. But now I walk in the light, in hope, caring, with
joy, gratitude and serenity. There is no treatment for my condition, no pill I
can take that would end my suffering. Some things are the way they are and you have to
get used to it. I can only hope that sharing my story my inspire
others to reach up, and never let others put them down because they’re different. I
hope it will help others to appreciate who they are, what they are, and their very
uniqueness. Maybe some day the world will appreciate those who
are mindblind like me and others. But for now I know who and what I am. If I’m
outside looking in, then maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be. I just wish things didn’t have to be so hard and
that I had known all this earlier.
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