Description:
The book is a journey from early childhood to the far
reaches of disassociation and insanity compounded with alcoholism. It
describes the spawning of a very disturbed individual and discovers the
onset of the damaging characteristics, which has followed the author till
this present day.
This publication unveils the deepest and darkest secrets
in order to accept and put to rest a traumatic life engulfed by
negativity. It details every aspect, which caused irreparable damage to an
otherwise, mild and loving demeanour.
The book goes into great detail of what life is like
with mental illness and addiction. Dual Diagnosis is the given names for
such conditions. In this case, alcohol was used to numb the affects of the
illness. The illness became unbearable to cope with. Medications and
therapy do not have the desired affects to calm a crisis, where alcohol is
fast acting and gives almost instant temporary relief. This is why it is
so addicting. The author was desperate to relieve himself from his painful
and torturous life.
Unable to face reality, the author hid in the delusional
world of disassociation blocking out your realm. He would hide in this
secret world for decades away from the pains of reality. Secluded and
alone, he would slip further into the abyss. The alcohol was used to
induce this imaginary sanctuary into a new reality. Oblivious to reality,
the author entered a place free from rules, regulations and morals. The
most despicable swirling thoughts were compounding which was in fact
changing his behaviour and character.
Normally a mild and loving demeanour, the author's
character would develop into situations, which caused a threat to him and
the public. The author slipped into a psychosis and his world turned to
black. His character turned evil and demented with no hope of escape.
Desperate of staying in control, he used self-mutilation and alcohol to
calm the beast. Bloody and intoxicated, he would wander the streets in the
early morning hours searching for answers.