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KUNATI BOOK PUBLISHERS
Infinity Publishing
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Two-Stepping in a Waltz World (Excerpt)by John & Patricia Brine |
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How best
to describe the effect Asperger’s has had on my life? Much like the blind men
describing an elephant. You have to rely on my observations, such as they are.
Since I was born, I knew I was different, that I didn’t
fit in anywhere. Such has been, and shall be, the case until I die.
Have you ever seen a person who has no sense of rhythm
try to dance? Or heard a person with no musicality try to play? That, in a phrase,
sums up Asperger’s—while everyone else is trying to dance the waltz, I’m dancing
the two-step, and damned if I know why, but I’m always out of step.
Try as I might, I cannot do “the social dance,” and I
am stuck out of step, and out of place, wherever I go.
Perhaps, then, it is time I do my own dance.
Though I would wish otherwise, I will always be alone. I
have grown used to this fact. So, strike up the band…and let the dance begin in
earnest. John Brine, writing November 10,
1998
So began John’s first offering—his first attempt, at
my request, to communicate with us through writing about his life. From my experiences
with John, I knew it would differ from our observations, and I wanted to try to see
life through his eyes. It is only fitting that our combined effort should begin with
his words, for this is his story. ***
It’s only recently that I’ve been diagnosed with
Asperger’s Syndrome. All my life I’ve been different, and out of step with
everyone else. I’m sure it must have been sheer hell trying to raise me, because
it’s been no picnic growing up, let me assure you of that. John, writing December 21, 1998
John has
always enjoyed words. As soon as he could read, which was well before he went to
school, he was immersed in dictionaries and encyclopedias as well as fiction and
textbooks—anything in print. He found a lot of that in our house, which is
book-centered. I wondered if an expression of his thoughts, feelings, and experiences
could help others in the same boat. Would it help them to know about the struggles of
other parents, their mistakes and successes? Would we understand John better if he could write about things we hadn’t managed to talk about, and would it be good therapy for him? Would it help to answer the question he put to me after a particularly uninteresting bit of volunteer work: “Is this all there is in life for
me?”
I didn’t want to say yes in answer to John’s
question. We wanted to help him search for ways to enrich his life, to find meaning
and purpose, to set goals, and achieve his desire to be working at a paying job. But
would we ever find a way? Read the sequel: It's the Only Dance I Know
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